A First Encounter: Part Nine

“Haven’t you heard the phrase love conquers all?” I shouted with conviction.

“Haven’t you heard of people getting stabbed whilst holding hands on the street? The world is increasingly becoming more hateful, spiteful, myopic and small-minded. People don’t get it; people don’t understand. I forbid you from seeing him. No more cutesy baking or cooking. Get someone else to teach you how to navigate through the kitchen. Do you hear me? I forbid you.”

“You forbid me? YOU FORBID ME?! Yeah, I don’t think so. He’s the first person to make me feel normal and not like a patient suffering from paralysis. He makes me feel like a girl. How can you try and take that from me? Don’t you care how I feel?”

My mum tried to intervene. “Try to understand from your father’s perspective. He is concerned and wants you to manage your feelings and expectations.

“Seriously! Seriously!”  I said in my best Meredith Grey impression. Grey’s Anatomy had nothing on me.

“Toba, try to see it from her point of view,” she turned to my father. “She feels like herself when she’s with him. You can’t buy that.”

Just when things couldn’t get any worse, none other than Shay walked in. You could cut the tension with a blunt knife, it was that palpable. Shay took one look at my face and he instantly stretched out his hand with a very concerned look on his face. I shook my head and he dropped his hand instantaneously. My heart went out to him but I was afraid of what my dad may do or say.

“Hi, my name is Shay,” he said quietly because he had no clue what was going on. He just knew that something was up. My father looked him up and down very slowly and shook his hand.  The handshake only lasted a couple of seconds. I noticed that Shay rubbed his hand and winced. I had a feeling that my dad squeezed his hand just a little too tightly.

‘I’m an occupational therapist teaching E.J….

“Yeah, I know who you are”, my dad interrupted him mid-sentence. Shay looked really uncomfortable, shuffling from one foot to the other. “Well, I just came to pick up E.J. for our cooking lessons. We are making lasagna.” My dad excused himself and went into the bathroom whilst Shay was speaking. Shay looked at me and I instantly wanted to roll up to him and give him a hug. He looked so pained and upset because he had no idea what he could have possibly done to offend my father in the five minutes that they had interacted.

“Let’s just go,” urging him to leave the room. He helped me transfer out of the bed and we left the room in haste. Waiting in front of the chrome Otis doors, we barely spoke. The silence was deafening. Amidst the hustle and bustle of the nurses station, we stood a feet apart staring intently at the numbers above the elevator doors, silently willing the lift to get to our floor sooner rather than later. Desperately wanting to hold his hand and assure him that everything was alright, I knew I couldn’t not risk anyone seeing us display such affection.  The hairs on my arms stood up. Quietly wringing my hands in an anxious manner, I allowed my mind to drift and wander to safer climes. Away from the discomfort of the moment. Away from the uneasiness and awkwardness of it all.

We rode down to the lower floor. The music in the lift was that nauseating elevator jazz that made you want to puke. The elevator doors dinged open. The lobby was bustling with people, loved ones of inpatients, taking a break from the miserable, disheartening spotted hospital gowns, call don’t fall emergency buttons, uncomfortable sofa beds, clinically clean bathrooms and the monotony of life within the confines of the Millie. 

The hydrotherapy pool was empty for once. Getting to the kitchen, Shay walked over to the island and hoisted himself up onto the top. He placed his elbows on his lap, and ran his hands through his glossy, blonde hair. His hair basically looked like he was in a L’oreal advert. I wheeled over to him, parked in front and said, “we need to talk about that kiss.”

“I know, I know, I mean what the hell happened?”

“I know right. I mean, what do we do?” we maintained eye contact and immediately burst into laughter. For two minutes straight, we were guffawing away without a care in the world.  He clutched at his sides, I was like a mirror clutching at my waist, trying to steady myself.

“Ok, in all seriousness, I’m sorry for overstepping my boundaries. At that point, I really couldn’t help myself. It felt like an invisible hand was pulling me closer and closer to you. I basically had no control over my body at the time,” Shay said, with a tender look on his face.

“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean,” agreeing whilst getting the mince and other ingredients from the fridge. Laying them out side by side, I gestured to Shay to get the rest from the cupboard above the stove. Thinking to myself that it’s been a while since I was this happy, I hummed a little Ed Sheeran. Shay pushed himself off the kitchen island and joined me at the stove. Jostling around the kitchen, we moved around each other like a choreographed interpretive dance, our bodies moving as one. Periodically, we would grin at each other, barely containing our glee for the chance to be around one another. His fingers grazed my shoulder once or twice as he started clearing up while the lasagna was in the oven. “You dry whilst I wash the dishes,” he said.

Nodding my head, I moved over to the sink, happy to be there. He passed the spoons and mixing bowls over to me. Before I knew what was happening, he had blown some of the suds on the tip of my nose.  Wrinkling my nose, trying to get it off. Next thing, my forehead was covered. “You asked for it”, I said in a jokingly menacing manner, threatening to retaliate with my own brand of justice. We hurled soap at each other, ducking behind the chairs and tables trying to escape from the other. We were so embroiled in our sudden fight that we didn’t realise someone was watching us.

“Ahem, excuse me”. A voice from the distant broke us out of our reverie. We both looked over to see who it was. My face fell for Kaya was standing erect in the doorway, with a slight frown of her face. What she had witnessed was pure, unadulterated joy; a fact that probably made her very uneasy. Her shoulders were tense. Actually, make that her entire body.