Member Feese is an extraordinarily fierce person that has overcome gargantuan obstacles in her young but miraculous and exceptional life. In my humble opinion, she is the literal definition of a “survivor,” vanquishing challenges and setting the ultimate example for people who have suffered unimaginable tragedies. In case you have not heard Ms. Feese’s remarkable disability origin story, let me regale you with a tale of awe-inspiring bravery and a journey of faith. Let me set the scene. Abuja. A seemingly normal morning at the United Nations building on August 20th , 2011.
Member Feese was standing in the structure’s lobby. Suddenly, the walls and ceiling came down; a total destruction and obliteration of the entire revered international erection. Bystanders and passersby vaguely recall the echo of deafening blasts. Three weeks later, Member woke up in London, disorientated, unable to recall the incident, only to discover an above-the-knee amputation. Her left leg was no more (at least a part of it). Member has demonstrated an unreal strength of character in the face of seemingly impossible odds. She kept body and soul together, recovered from several life-threatening injuries, even with a medical prediction of less than a 1% chance of survival. Alas, her life-path is admired by many and is considered to be the epitome of what is referred to as a “can-do,” attitude. Without further ado, I introduce to you, Ms. Member Feese, the paragon of hope.
What do you do?
Technically, I am a trained Development Economist and I currently work at the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) Development Finance Department as a Project Manager in a Small and Medium Enterprise (SME) Finance Office where we provide expansion funding for entrepreneurs to grow their businesses. We engender policies and programs that help cultivate our proud nation’s economic sector. My office specifically appraises and focuses on the micro, small and medium enterprise where we create favourable schemes and loans to give to businesses to develop their companies and focus on entrepreneurship training.
What legacy do you want to leave to the world?
In the words of the iconic girl group, Destiny’s Child, “I’m a survivor.” The foundation of my mindset is based on the notion that nothing can stop me. I want the world to remember me and for people to know that if anything unfortunate happens to you, as long as it isn’t fatal, God is giving you a second chance to get back up again. It could have been worse, things could have worked out a different way but as long as you are still able to remember your story, know and believe that you are fighter and it happened for a reason. I also want to use this platform to encourage people that when they get knocked down, they must strive to rise up. Along the way, I came to the realisation that forgiveness is essential for moving on so if some misfortune has befallen you, it is the mentally healthiest and best course of action to forgive yourself and/or someone else and march forward. From personal experience, I can assure you will live a much happier life. Holding onto negative emotions just weighs you down and breeds misery.
As the old adage says, “Misery begets misery.” One can find oneself in a cycle of gloom and desolation if you grab hold of unforgiveness. As a direct culmination of my experience post-accident with the sorely lacking Nigerian healthcare system and the costs associated with recovery, I started a Foundation called Member that empowers other bomb victims by providing rehabilitative support, prosthetic limbs and start-up capital to rebuild their lives. We registered as an advocacy group, fighting to improve service delivery in the health sector especially but now we have morphed into an organization that provides succour to bomb victims and those injured from car accidents. We noticed that most of the bomb victims in Nigeria were poor or disadvantaged people that cannot afford to get rehabilitative support, limbs or capital to restart their businesses and lives. The last thing any of us would want is for them to be knocked into a lower class.
What would you tell your 13-year-old self?
Let your imagination run wild. Live in the moment and enjoy your life as much as possible and if you can, make sure you travel the world. When you meet people from other countries and cultures, you expand your mind and perspectives and shatter preconceptions or misguided notions. And to my surprise, after a pregnant pause, Member said, “And do well in school and excel in your studies.” No better way to utter a compelling PSA or after-school special, in my humble opinion.
Which three people, alive or dead, would you want to have dinner and why?
Nelson Mandela is the first person I would want seated round the dinner table. He never went on a self-destructive quest for revenge. He held onto hope and did not give up even though he was imprisoned for more than two decades. He was released and still successfully navigated the minefield that is the racially divisive political landscape to become President of South Africa. The second person that I want to dine with is none other than the true, humble matriarch of the people – Princess Diana. To learn how she was so open and willingly accommodating. I like the way she was poised and carried herself with such grace. As much as she was the princess of everyone’s heart, she was able to care deeply for her sons and be present for them and the English people. She appeared to have a large heart and often embraced people, regardless of the seemingly unimportant man-made ideals of station, class, race, religion or creed. The third individual I would like to converse with is Former President of the United States, Mr Barack Obama. To have intellectual discourse and figure out his rationale and way of thought. One trait I have always admired is his eloquent speech and turn
of phrase. To quote a colloquialism, “He could sell water to someone who was fasting.” I love his speeches. I merely desire to understand his mind and also enquire what exactly motivated him to run for President, despite the obstacles and challenges he would undoubtedly face based solely on the colour of his skin.
What three things do you think disabled people should focus on right now?
The importance of acceptance, protecting your mental health and focusing on your family. Accepting your condition is the first stage in your healing journey. Without acceptance, you would just wallow and keep asking God, the universe, whatever Deity you believe in, “Why me? Why me? Why me?” Protecting your mental wellbeing is also key. Focusing on the past and all the what ifs and what may have been’s is futile and will end up consuming all your emotional energy. Concentrating on the present and accepting the situation will allow you to move on. Furthermore, by educating people and making able-bodied mortals aware of the challenges that disabled individuals face, spreads awareness. People not in the fray just assume that differently abled life is how it is depicted in the movies. Awareness can correct erroneous assumptions and misguided notions. The last but certainly not the least is your family, either the one you are born into or the one you chose. Your family may be stressed from being your support network and they may forget about their self-care whilst caring for you.
What would you say to a newly injured person? What advice would you give them?
Live your life. Accept your new reality because that is the first brave step to healing. To reiterate the salient point, the quicker and earlier you accept your condition, the faster you can move on. Being violently thrust into the disabled world does not mean the end to your life as you know it. There is a rapidly developing world of technological innovations, constantly researching, evolving and creating mobility aids that will make life easier. There is nothing new that cannot be solved. Problems that cannot be addressed right now will surely be worked out in the future; someone will come up with the answer. For instance, neuromodulation was a concept developed over time from 2008 (when it was at the research stage), that became a reality. Formerly paralysed patients with damage to their central nervous systems/spinal cords have reported a decrease in or total annihilation of the neuropathic pain they usually experience daily. Some found that their bladder or sexual function improved significantly. Instead of climaxing once every two months, a Para Squad man could now orgasm every week. People undergo Deep Brain Stimulation procedures to help ease the symptoms of those that suffer from Parkinson’s. The heavens are the limit so do not give up hope. Trust that there is indeed a light at the end of the darkest tunnel.
Wheelchair Girl 
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