One Wise Woman: How Being Paralysed Made Me a Better Strategic Thinker

Confusion. Bewilderment. Fascination. Curiosity. These are probably very accurate descriptors of the range of emotions you as the reader experienced after reading and perhaps re-read the title of this piece. The idea that is being presented might be considered a tad controversial but I must assure you that by the end of this piece, you will change your tune and be stupefied. This author was definitely stumped, trying to decide how exactly to craft the beginning of this write-up so I decided to simply pose a question – what comes to one’s mind when you read the words, “The Disabled Theory of Unknown Variables?” Take a minute to mull it over. Ponder, contemplate and let it wash over you. Now, one may have heard of the three wise men that brought gold, frankincense and myrrh to the manger, in the Biblical story of the birth of Christ. This is an analytical story of how one wise woman came to be.

One of the highest compliments I have heard in recent times, is when someone is said to have the wisdom of Solomon (look him up and research his story in the Bible, for further illumination). For several months, I have beseeched the Holy Spirit for greater wisdom, insight and perception. It was not until very recently, that I realised my prayers have been/are being answered. Every week, I have a Zoom Group, called Just Jesus (aka JJ Group), and each week, I am eager to learn and witness the majesty of it all. Without fail, they unexpectedly call on me to give my thoughts on any subject matter. I always expect meaningless words or stuttering to prevent the thought crafting process but instead, anointed wordage tumbles out that leaves me completely and utterly flabbergasted. No matter what the question is, wise explanations, analyses, prophetic declarations and interpretations fall out.

To my delight, this words craftswoman, has discovered that my creativity, genius and wisdom kicked into high gear after paralysis broke into my “life-house.” On several occasions, my friends call me for my perspectives, opinions and advice. ‘Tis actually, truly a wonder. One fine day, somewhere in the mad city of Lagos, yours truly was in the middle of an elaboration. To paraphrase, (as verbatim is a hard-to-grasp, distant memory), I explained what I have now coined the Disabled Theory of Unknown Variables. Interesting moniker, right?

Basically, the theory “states” that at any given time, I am trying to eliminate the number of unknown variables in any possible scenario. My brain strategically (in mere seconds); analyses several different configurations which in turn informs my responses, possible and otherwise. I am always at least 10 steps ahead of everyone else because I have to mentally conceive of alternative plans to cover any unknown, unanticipated occurrence. No matter the probability of that instance happening, I have to be prepared. Even in the moment, my aim is to reduce the unidentified variables, and the corresponding reactions to the dissimilar sequence of events; the falling backwards in the chair onto the pavement, the urine leaking out of my diaper onto the seat, the poop-nami leaking on the wheelchair cushion, the someone stealing my backpack or handbag, with my numerous
medications.

The salient question is thus – What do I do if A, B or C occurs? If A happens, then I have to run scenarios A1, A2 or A3. And if A1 fails, then I quickly deduce that B1, B2, B3 are the perfect reactions. The plans are tweaked as I receive more information from the instances and possibly “knowing” the unknowns internally by eliminating the uncertainties at lightning speed in the moment, in microseconds, ensures that I am unequivocally prepared for surprises (pleasant or unpleasant). Being a lifelong student and a sponge, I absorb knowledge as a way of learning about many an area of interest. Turns out, I have unearthed something quite enticing and tantalising. A natural curiousity turns out to be a perfect foundation for the current expansion and evolution of my thought-process.

A process that has been quickened to an alarming speed, as my paralysis years rack up. This has culminated in the bettering of my strategic thinking. Personal evidential story time! The night we arrived in London was freezing and turned out to be overtly eventful. The temperature was in single digits, we could see our breath and our hands were so icy as our teeth chattered. My darling mother tried to switch on the heating and unfortunately, an error light blinked, quite frighteningly. Mama panicked and suggested we may have to drift off to the land of Morpheus; fully kitted out in beanies, coats, jumpers, trackkie b’s, thick socks and Willy Wonka undergarments. As she was uttering the sentence, I had already launched into problem solving mode.

In less than a minute, I texted all my UK peeps including my godmother, who answered my Bat signal and referred us to a gas/boiler engineer expert turned pastor who was about to go to bed in 30 minutes. I called this lovely and patient man who kindly explained what was wrong and talked my Mama through the rebooting process. Less than 15 minutes later, we hooted and hollered because the green light showed and a welcome whirring sound meant the heating was on and working flawlessly. Mama and I were really appreciative and she commended my über-quick-springing into action like a DC superhero; Bat(wheelchair)girl of yesteryear. She applauded my creativity and rapid response time in astonishment and admiration; and relayed the situation to several relatives and friends.

Not to sound uppity or arrogant, but the truth is my intellect has always been quite advanced. In the first four months after the road traffic accident, an exceptional group of physios and occupational therapists taught me the basics of wheelchair etiquette and other foundational techniques, that I can modify to fit any and all situations. This writer has come to the profound, life-changing and transformative realisation that the Holy Spirit continues to use the tragedy of the catastrophic spinal injury for good. My mind is open and receptive, my thought processes are even more swift, and my analytical, strategic and problem-solving thinking seems to be as fast as Grant Gustin’s The Flash (an exaggeration for sure, but, the point is hereby reinforced). In an in-depth discussion with my fellow wheelchair girl, Dani Izzie, we agreed to put pen to paper and write a book on the subject (sometime in the future) aptly titled, “Disabled Theory of Unknown Variables.” So, are you surprisingly convinced by my theory te> Standing O’s. Mic drop.