Mental Health is a Struggle

Mental health is an extremely salient and relevant topic around the world with international campaigns like ‘Always Keep Fighting,’ pioneered by the American actor Jared Padalecki, and ‘I Don’t Mind,’ co-founded by American actor Chris Wood and creative Edward Schmit. In Nigeria, we have organisations like the Mental Health Foundation and Tranquil and Quest Behavioural Health Care Centre, who are doing their part to raise awareness and help people manage their mental health. Many international and local celebrities have come out telling their various stories about their struggles with mental health. Unfortunately, some do not make it. The stigmatisation of mental health issues is a battle that is being fought from all sides and thankfully, the tide is turning.

For example, people now realise that going to see a therapist is no longer taboo and should be encouraged in the same way as we visit the doctor to treat a physical illness. Individuals that suffer from spinal cord injuries and other disabilities can be extremely susceptible to suicidal ideation, self-harm and even psychotic episodes. Imagine, one day, you have the ability to walk, dance, sing and then, without warning, something catastrophic happens and all of that is taken away. You have to learn how to sit up, talk, transfer from one surface to the next, and roll over; depending on how bad the injury is. You have to learn howto pee through a catheter into a bag, you need assistance to do a number two, and you need help to put on your own clothes. At that point in time, you are stripped of your dignity and thefuture looks very bleak.

After the car accident that rendered me paralysed from the waist down, I was in shock for about three months. When reality finally sunk in, having a psychologist in my corner was lifesaving. Every week, there was a new topic, from sex after your injury, to whether (and I am quoting myself here) ‘walking people date non-walking people.’ Having any semblance of a normal life seemed like a foreign concept. Questions like – Will I ever feel attractive again? – plagued my thoughts. I did not recognise this new body or way of life. The loss of identity, the despair, the shock, the feeling of disbelief can be felt deep within your soul. You may feel lost, isolated, angry at God or the universe, betrayed, guilty, distraught, bereft. Before you know it, you are overwhelmed with grief, losing sleep, and crying uncontrollably. It is like you are in the middle of a sinkhole with no lifeline. Every day and everything are a struggle.

The emotional turmoil takes a toll and if you do not talk to someone, it will only get worse. Grief begets grief. It is like being stuck in quicksand with no way out. You are circling the drain because you feel so alone. There were times when I prayed to God not to wake up the next day so I could be free from the pain that had been driving me crazy, the mind-numbing agony that had ravaged my being for several months. The only people that can truly understand your predicament are others that suffered a similar fate. It is hard to be understood by anyone if they are not going through what you are experiencing first-hand. There is an unspoken language that only disabled people speak; a dialect that only they can understand. It is like you are on the same wavelength on a frequency that no one else can tune in to. You are on the same team, fighting similar battles.

An extreme example of a disabled person succumbing to their depressive state was the controversial ending to Me Before You (2016). When this film came out, disabled people all the world were in an uproar over the choice that the differently abled character made to (spoiler alert!) end his life because he felt that he could not live as less than. Surprisingly, I understood where he was coming from. If disabled individuals were actually honest with themselves, that they have had suicidal thoughts more than once, they would be able to see from the character’s point of view. If we ascribe to being ‘inspiration porn,’ where we are continuously depicted as sources of strength; battle-tested fighters that smile through the pain no matter what, we lose the multi-faceted and complex nature of our negative feelings and emotions.

In a world with such a short attention span, disabled people are struggling to make their voices be heard. Mental health struggles are not unique to them alone, but they are more likely to experience some sort of a depressive state when they have suffered a devastating injury that changes your life completely. With more people being brave enough to share their experiences regarding a decline in their mental health, it encourages others to speak up. We should learn to support those that need our help, not only to survive, but to thrive in life. Fortunately, I can safely say, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. One just has to be willing to fight for it.